Top 5 Least Favorite Snack Foods (I ain’t always a nice guy)

I have to own it, I’m fat. I should say I’m fluffy, but a comic has already coined that phrase. I’d love to say that I’m big-boned but that isn’t  true either. Usually, guys my size, aren’t very picky about what they eat. For a chubby guy, I’m very finicky about what I choose to intake. Here are a few things I like the least.

(When I do a top 5, I start from 5 down. It builds suspense!)

5. Nutella is a drug of choice for Caucasians, and I just don’t care for it. I’ve never spread it on anything that it didn’t taste like hazelnut sand. It’s always a bigger let down than a surprise for me.

4. Cashews are the pits. I can eat one and I’m done for the rest of the year. My dad buys the largest can on this side of the Mississippi and devours them like nothing I’ve ever seen. I missed the boat on these things.

3. Combos are taking two things are decent separately, and combining them to make something atrocious. Pretzels are good by themselves but when you add some horrible paste in the middle, it’s a disaster waiting to happen.

2. Corn nuts are miserable. It literally is the Grape Nuts of snack food. How many teeth were destroyed eating a bag of these little crunchy pieces of crap. Id bet there is a stamp of approval from the ADA on this bad boy, somewhere.

1. Let’s be honest, Cheez-Its are grody. I’d like to meet the maker of this popular snack and give him and old school wedgie. One that leaves a mark makes him cry a little. I have to be starving and need some serious sustenance to make a snack of these.